Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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