I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
