I just saw a hot homeless man
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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