I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
