Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
