i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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