I want to stick my p in your. b.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
