So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize