this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This baby is an asshole
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
