I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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