There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize