cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
