Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
