we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
