Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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