I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
