What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
