I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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