My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
