you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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