i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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