I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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