My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
