Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize