drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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