dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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