Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
