There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
