have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
