So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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