I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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