i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize