farters have to be the big spoon...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were trust falling into bushes
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
