Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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