Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
