hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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