My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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