may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want a musical about memes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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