Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
