it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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