remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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