Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We are all done wearing pants today
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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