Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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