dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
