im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
