he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
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dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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