we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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