last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
