Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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