im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
