I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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