Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
