They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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