just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I could fuck to npr.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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