I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
