all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
